Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He did a backflip because drugs
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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