I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
ok first of all what the fuck
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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