there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
