Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
