I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
