shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize