i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
4 words: hood of his car
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
