hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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