I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
