she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
