so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
