Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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