its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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