He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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