You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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