I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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