Can Purell be used as lube?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
