Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
