And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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