This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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