I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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