I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize