Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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