I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
