No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize