dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
