It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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