just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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