You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
