Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize