dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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