I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
