thus making me awesome and them whores
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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