Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
