I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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