I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
