By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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