Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize