i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
