I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
