didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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