sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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