Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
