Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
