Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
