I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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