i think i have two assholes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
