i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
