I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
