You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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