I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
