BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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