Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
