so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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