So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
