She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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