No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
