I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
