This girl is more easily done than said...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
