Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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