I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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