I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
