just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No subtext here. People are naked.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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