I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This is the high leading the old right now
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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