lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
