if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Me too!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
