You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
