Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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