Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
