u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
