you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
