you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
