Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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