I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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