therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize