I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
