I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
