playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize