Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
