Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
