You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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