therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
