used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dear god my vagina.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
