Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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