this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it's great music for shaving your balls
She even gives head with a lisp.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
