I'm really into asian looking animals
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
