You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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