Dual....:-)
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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