woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
