In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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