batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
